Depression and faith: a note

I have learnt alot and become stronger through my depression. It taught me empathy, compassion and humility. It may be caused by evil, but the effects on me have been good. Mental illness must be understood in terms of the spiritual as well as being part of many individuals life experience. For me, I changed for the better, becoming stronger in faith and closer to understanding people and myself. Humility and a warm heart have come out of this as I haven't and will not let depression destroy me.

Light

Light opened like a yellow rose of freedom, the glow, the brightness, the intensity challenged my mind and my gaze from the earth to the very centre of the azure sky. The delicate changes of colours, of robust pink and purple lingered as the sharpness of a white beam exhilarated my heart. The air outspoken and wild left me silent.

His eyes

Inner strength of a life, is that which makes all have life.

His eyes caught me, weak, pale and distant. Yet within the wrenching of his solar plexus was pressure, but also depth,

Fore the depth of his will power remains, from outer chaos to internal peace,

As spirit is far greater than wasted skin, and the eternal always outlasts the frail body,

His eyes are flowers, Chrysanthemums, late in opening and always startling in presence...

It never ends this presence, the three colours of the petals, dazzling white, yellow and orange, flames and fires of the imagination.

He awakens...arising to the sky and beyond, like the sun, but greater, like the moon though always full, like a tidal wave without harm and like emotion without sadness,

His eyes begin the rainbow and the end too begins with freshness, and vibrance of colour. This freshness, this taste, so sumptuous in the mouth. This honey and this dew of nectar, though flavoursome, is beyond what we can taste, see, hear and feel. Far beyond the senses, in the very depths of the soul.

Shades of grey

Nietzsche is wrong! 

I have lied in my life. I don't like this fact, but I'm being honest. Not big lies, small ones. This doesn't make me a lier or dishonest, or untrustworthy. It makes me flawed and weak. 

I know people close to home, who I know well, who have lied, who I trust and believe in, who I forgive and they forgive me.

Lying is more than "saying" this is an apple when it's an orange, or even hiding your feelings out of masculine shame, which I'm guilty of. 

Disloyalty is a lie, thinking you are pure when you are not Holy is a lie, snooping on your friends is a lie, doing things behind their back is a lie, being friends with liers, bullies, narcissists and fake people is a lie, not stating your honest inner thoughts is a lie, not saying the truth is a lie, not believing in the Truth is a lie. 

If I'm guilty of lying I'm saying this apple is an orange, but that's where it ends, inside I'm honest and truthful with myself and others. I'm trustworthy, I'm not a snake or a wolf in sheep's clothing.

There are many shades of grey. Not everything is black and white.