The Loving Creator

I would have no light if I was not first lit,

I would have no creativity if I was not first created,

I would have no thinking if I was not first thought,

I would have no strength if it was not given,

I would not be able to see if I was not first blind,

I would not be able to love if I wasn't first loved,

I would not seek if I could not find.

Life would have no point if at first there was no purpose,

Death would not be sad if life was never joyous,

Evil would not exist if Good was not first present,

If I didn't have a mind, I would not need a brain,

If the invisible were not alive, then what are thoughts? 

What are words written down?

What are feelings and emotions? If not alive!

A book begins with the seed of an idea,

A concept begins with a thought,

The life of a soul begins at conception with that vital spark.

At the end of this bridge of life on earth is a different life,

Fore life begins with life and ends with life for those believe! and have faith!

If we get there, we will know what we know. 

Only with True humility can one see all this,

Humility guides you to the Light, to the Creator, to the Strength, to the Love, to the Purpose, to the Good...

His Name is Jesus Christ. 

He thought of me with love and created me out of love. We ought to think with love and show l

ove to God and all creation. 

Health

Yes, health as a whole, is complex. Mental, physical and I would add spiritual too. They are all connected and all affect each other. I would agree with the statement that we're either progressing or dying on the grounds that spiritual health comes first and is the most important. Mental affects the spiritual of course and the physical. The key is balance with the figurehead being the spiritual realm. Cancer I feel is spiritual, some people with extreme physical health, but have resentment in their mind or other negative mindset factors get cancer, which shows that the mind is affecting the body. Resentment etc comes from ego, and ego is opposed to the spiritual realm, which is why cancer is so prevalent in the world, as arrogance is so prevalent. 

Eat well, stay mentally active, exercise and first and foremost stay humble at all times.

Highly spiritual people who get cancers, for example some Saints, get it because they are being tested and because they can cope, and it actually heightens their spiritual strength and it is not because they are arrogant. 

It is a sweetness sent by Christ, and they thank Him, as they become closer to Him, and they pass to Paradise with smiles and joy. 

We are all in the process of salvation or not, depending on our spiritual beliefs. So the aim is to be humble no matter our struggles and no matter our temptations, as these will go on until our final breath here. 

We all received struggles based on our strengths, and to deal with our struggles we must pray, remain humble and give our lives to Christ.

Home

The turning point in life is the Prayer of the heart,

The long path took me to a crossroads,

I made a decision of which way to go,

All good things lead to home.

Get home safely, a good rule of life.

Alone,

But, one is never alone

And prayers are always heard

And the light shines on me, even 

during disarray.

I am guided to the source of life,

I seek help, I seek comfort,

He appears and I am made still.

The Star of Wonder,

shines in the darkness

And the darkness though great

has not overcome it.

During daylight the path towards the Sun is an arduous journey,

But, my focus is clear and 

my choice and direction 

takes me closer to clarity.

We set sail on calm waters,

always to brighter days.

Though there are Three ships, they unite as One as the water becomes

turbelant. 

Strong wind circulates with harshness, but strength and courage prevail.

Prayer of a single tear is all that is needed for stillness, for a kind and loving heart.

Though a small gesture, it is powerful and it purifies the soul. 

Heading home anxiety has gone,

Suffering and torment have gone,

It begins in the home,

And in the end we go back home again. 

Feeling irritable?!

I'm the best "Therapist" for myself I've discovered and now am certain about this. I know myself better than anyone, apart from God. So with trust in the almighty and maintaining calm, prayer, self discipline and looking forward to Jesus Christ always ahead of me, I stay stable and strong. 

In this messed up confused society, where right is wrong and wrong is right, irritability and frustration is hard to get away from. But, by slowing down, quietening the mind, focusing on humility with the prayer of the heart, in this way recognising and remembering that I'm a sinner and in a fallen state. 

This simplifies everything and makes things clear again. Only Jesus Christ, said He is the way, the Truth and the Life. Only He stirs up so much emotional upheaval showing that the one who speaks The Truth is the most hated, as said by the philosopher Plato, and is proven to be true. 

No matter what you think or feel. Whether you are a feminist, transgender, Gay, leftist, Muslim, Buddhist, atheist, evolutionist etc etc, you lack the one Truth. This may seem courageous, me speaking up like this or stupid depending on your opinion, but to me strength comes Truth and Truth alone. 

If you've had negative experiences in knowing Jesus Christ, that's your mind and your ego which is to blame and is not God's fault. Fore, He is sinless and loves us all. He wants only for our good and to save us, which means good and bad things happening in life. It means temptation till our last breath, which takes a lifelong struggle to get to where we are longing to be. 

I will never give up this struggle, as this life is the most fruitful and satisfying, to do my best for our Creator.

Expectations (my view)

As a child I expected my father to be different to what he was,

This destroyed me.

I expected my brother to be strong, but he wasn't.

I was expected to become a Doctor, but I failed in my pursuit.

I was expected to be stable and sane, and successful, but I was the opposite, I was like my father and my brother.

What does this mean?

It means expectations are unrealistic pressures that can devastate our lives, and it leads to questions, what is normality, what is fatherhood, what is strength, what is success? 

If we take away the expectations that we and society force upon us and live more simply, and humbly we would cease to fall into despair.

Worldly cares bring worldly emotions,

With simplicity and humility we separate ourselves from the world and away from the fears of expectation.

Without expectations the ego is crushed.

With humility we are elevated.

True humility is only gained through Christ Our Saviour.

Fear

Ingrained in society,

Is the terror that lurks beneath,

the sewer of the soul.

Beneath every facade of the face is the faeces of control, 

At least that's the psychodynamic reality of common mentality.

Fear is a mere negativity,

A worldwide construction,

Manifested by evil thoughts,

Setting up our destruction.

I say the overriding feeling that gets to the heart of humanity,

Is not fear, 

but the love inside each of us that brings us to sanity,

In this brainwashed world making the masses sustain an unreal reality,

Christ maintains True Love throughout the Universe with His miraculous ability.

Fear is of the devil,

If you do not believe this then you are deceived, or deluded, 

But by faith we overcome fear,

Fear not fellow people fore our path can be made clear.

By giving with loving kindness,

By repentance of sin,

By forgiving of wrong doing,

By dropping fear in the fear filled bin.

Fear is a darkness, it is a stench,

But perfect love casts out all fear and brings a sweetness to life,

Out of this gloom there glows a great light,

The light overpowers darkness and renders it obsolete,

Once love reaches your heart it is mission almost complete,

You've been touched by love,

You've been held by God himself,

And once you open up and pray,

He will always hear what you have to say.

Hold onto love and trust in God's plan,

Let go of man-made fear,

Your mission will be complete when love creates just a single tear,

A tear of hope and of lasting faith, 

Then you know at last you are Truly Truly Safe. 

For people who are different

Diverge from the norm?

Both nature and nurture I believe,

I diverged from birth,

When I began my battle here on this strange planet called Earth.

I'm never the same, always unique,

Always alone, never in clique.

I've always had the nerve to be different,

The nerve to be "weird",

The nerve to be "flawed and weak"

The nerve to be seen as a clown and a freak.

Exceptional neurons in my brain is why I struggle,

It's why I adapt to others inner life,

When my life is different and they refuse to adapt to me.

So you see,

I go out of my comfort zone,

while everyone else stays inside their kind, 

I glide here and there, and they are unaware of the conflict inside my mind.

When I explain I get a brick wall,

But, one box doesn't fit all,

And I cannot tick that box,

As it's not high functioning,

Or not based on scientific style number crunching,

It isn't extreme enough or doesn't display creativity,

Frankly, it isn't genius and lacks lucidity,

And it doesn't conform to me and my norm,

So I question, why was I born?

In this world so regimented and strict.

I'm in conflict,

with myself because the world is as it is,

And people don't understand,

Nor do they want to,

Fellow people, how can we be all the same?

When we are all so different?

How can we all agree?

When we all really disagree?

Don't shut us down when we complain,

We are not a stain on society,

But a bright spark,

And we have a strong voice,

So be more open and aware,

Let us be heard and give us a choice!

The obstacle is the way

You see the challenge in front,

You see the pain ahead,

The hurt and the effort is already embedded in your head.

It feels too much,

And you feel so weak,

But, it's just you against the obstacle,

And you must reach that peak.

You need to go that way,

It's the only option,

And it must begin today,

But, if it's not chosen you know you'll regret the day and you'll pay.

It's just you against the obstacle,

It's a simple matter of fact,

Simplicity is key to setting the goal,

Don't think too much, just act.

Dig as deep as you can,

Channel your mind and heart,

Anything is possible, 

You just have to start.

Go the distance as you know you can,

You've learnt hard times from the past,

It's what separates the child from the man,

And it will be done at long last.

It's just you against the obstacle...

The Turning Point

 I sobbed my heart out in my darkened dorm,

Then an explosion in my skull,

An explosion of rage and fear,

The devil grabbed me by the balls,

Signalling schizophrenia was here.

Things were going this way and that,

I heard voices of people I couldn't see,

I saw stuff like in a horror film,

I couldn't believe this was happening to me.

Involuntary movement,

Though terrifying it showed what was to come,

Compelled into a crucifix position laying on my bed,

I looked straight at the ceiling and saw two eyes ahead,

My head forced to turn right as if to say don't look at me I'm stronger than you,

I sat on the edge and rubbed my face,

I left to go home in this darkened place,

The work of the devil had begun and it was inside me.

A decade of despair,

It was unfair,

In bed with months of crying and misery,

Then from a seed of confidence I had a goal,

To get out and walk with my mother,

In the dark so no one could see,

Terrified to go outside I felt so low and insecure,

But, even the world seemed a slightly better place,

I had achieved something,

By God's Grace.

Years down the line,

The light was the turning point,

God blesses me with gifts,

The gift of love,

The gift of health,

The gift of happiness.

Having the experience of the lowest of the low,

Now, I grow and I grow, and I can flourish and bloom,

With my shovel or my brush, or my pen, or my fists or my feet, 

I tend to life with expression,

I exercise with power,

This gentle nut is a hard nut to crack,

I drive forward and don't look back!

The Truth revealed

3am training in the gym today,

Trying to keep negative thoughts away,

Thoughts of being teased and belittled,

The anger stirring in me doubled and then tripled.

The act of belittling stems from jealousy and frailty of mind,

They are too weak to admit it and too weak to just be kind,

Whether ingrained or unconscious, from bitterness or spite,

To put another down with arrogance is never right.

I feel hurt and I feel pain, 

I've been here before and probably again,

The hatred of a loser I will always despise,

As strength is overcoming and empowerment is knowing,

But through experience and resilience I will always rise.

The prize in life is Victory through loving kindness,

Not aggression through weakness and blindness,

So, if you're implementing cruel acts on anybody in any way,

Think again in the cold light of day and change what you do and what you say.

Cruelty no matter how insignificant it may seem,

Never goes unnoticed and unfelt,

Don't blame your cruel actions on the hard cards you've been dealt,

Don't hide behind a mask one minute then reveal the true you the next,

Don't lie to yourself because you're unhealed,

Be honest to yourself as the Truth is always revealed!

I Wonder

You see vivid Green Trees and Red Roses of Passion and I wonder.

What's in your thoughts when nature all around encapsulates your being?

Because you are gifted?!

You see intense textures and intricate shapes and patterns, and created design and I wonder.

I see fascination in your eyes and know the great ideas in your mind,

I see joy in your face, zest in your smile, 

not because life is fine, as you've been to devastation and back, but I know you feel elation drawn from the saturation of vast experience, and I wonder.

I see you don't run and hide, and though you feel fear, it doesn't stop your dreams,

You do as you wish and as you want,

In bad moments you gain energy and knowledge,

In good moments you put it to the test.

Your character is drive, 

Your sight is focus,

You mesmerize me! and I wonder!

I wonder why life has challenges and ups and downs,

It's to forge us,

We are forged like Iron in a foundry,

We are welded steel,

We are diamond cut,

We've been through pressure and we've been through time,

That's why we move with such exuberance!

To express, to create and to make things happen,

To motivate, to encourage and to inspire, 

This is what we desire,

As this fire in us needs to spread to another heart and another mind to satisfy our need,

And when this happens how will we feel? what will we think? What will we do next? I wonder!!!

The joy is the fight

Remember while here on Earth our

Spiritual warfare is every day,

In every second,

In every way,

We mustn't grumble,

We mustn't complain,

We must remain calm and on a level plain,

Be truly joyful, loving and kind as this countenance is which we all want to find.

It's hard,

It's struggle,

It's fight!

Sometimes easy, sometimes light,

But, whether torture or delight,

We must remain humble and stay focused on the end sight.

The sight of Peace

The sight of Rest,

The sight of Glory at it's finest and best!

Tempted till our last breath,

We must always be aware of the deceitful one,

For he carries a gun,

But, humbly we become bullet proof,

Grasp hold of humility and crack pride,

Burn the demons with prayer, repentance and forgiveness, and let Christ be your Guide, 

Carry your Cross with joy and bring evil's elimination,

As overcoming the struggle will bring your Eternal Salvation,

And the Joy which came from the fight!