I sobbed my heart out in my darkened dorm,
Then an explosion in my skull,
An explosion of rage and fear,
The devil grabbed me by the balls,
Signalling schizophrenia was here.
Things were going this way and that,
I heard voices of people I couldn't see,
I saw stuff like in a horror film,
I couldn't believe this was happening to me.
Involuntary movement,
Though terrifying it showed what was to come,
Compelled into a crucifix position laying on my bed,
I looked straight at the ceiling and saw two eyes ahead,
My head forced to turn right as if to say down look at me I'm stronger than you,
I sat on the edge and rubbed my face,
I left to go home in this darkened place,
The work of the devil had begun and it was inside me.
A decade of despair,
It was unfair,
In bed with months of crying and misery,
Then from a seed of confidence I had a goal,
To get out and walk with my mother,
In the dark so no one could see,
Terrified to go outside I felt so low and insecure,
But, even the world seemed a slightly better place,
I had achieved something,
By God's Grace.
Years down the line,
The light was the turning point,
God blesses me with gifts,
The gift of love,
The gift of health,
The gift of happiness.
Having the experience of the lowest of the low,
Now, I grow and I grow, and I can flourish and bloom,
With my shovel or my brush, or my pen, or my fists or my feet,
I tend to life with expression,
I exercise with power,
This gentle nut is a hard nut to crack,
I drive forward and don't look back!
