The Expressionist

When fear finally dissipates from the furnace inside,

The strangulation of expression ends and my muteness is gone,

My voice comes back to me

and calmness of mind returns,

Then self esteem and fluidity of thought create improvisation.

When I gather both paint and brush and think of an idea, or maybe not,

Music is played signalling a return to peace, 

I begin with the first brush stroke and satisfaction,

In the flow of spirit and energy I'm guided by outer power,

I look back and I'm amazed at what I did.

When I paint, I paint with fire,

I paint with gusto and passion,

Energy and pace, 

What you see, is what's inside me,

I let it flow without judgement,

I let it flow.

I practice over and over,

Proliferation brings with it wisdom,

I practice over and over,

The exhilaration never ends.

When I cry out,

When I hope for inspiration,

I know the listener is present,

I know there'll be a kind response and an act in perfect discernment, 

Fore my passion is a good one and the picture is true,

Whether I use Prussian blue with lemon yellow and white, or scarlet with effervescent gold, 

I know if I'm happy and energised, I've done a good job.

When I sit back and absorb the moment,

I realise again and again that life is very simple,

We complicate things,

But, when we follow our heart and feel the moment, we live life,

Our picture, our voice, it speaks a thousand words,

The furnace still burns bright,

But the fear has gone!

Let me be

I love what I do,

I'm good at it too,

It's different from you and you, and you!

I'm not going to stop just to please you!

If you want me to change,

If you tell me what to do,

I'm going to love my love more,

And do my love better.

I'll never stop, I'll never change,

It's you who's wrong, it's you who needs help,

You can go rearrange, your own life,

Don't tell me to alter my life,

I like who I am!

I'm good!

I'm great!

I'm worthy!

I'm happy with who I am!

I delight in being me!

If you love someone you set them free!

Don't take away their joy,

Don't silence their voice,

Let them be who they are,

Don't embarrass and belittle their ability,

Don't shove them out the way,

Don't ignore and neglect,

Show some appreciation!

Show some respect!

I'm dedicated to what I do,

I'm determined and I won't stop,

It's my passion,

It's my place,

It's my safety,

It's my comfort,

Let me be, let me have this time to 

enjoy and feel happy and free,

Let me be!

Fear

Is it a prison or is it a gift?

That's for you to decide!

I say face the dilemma,

Or avoid the experience through experience,

See fear and make your mind clear.

See yourself as a shining crystal, 

Translucent and iridescent,

Fear is a gift and a present of the past, a jewel fact of life to make with yourself a powerful pact, your determination is a mechanism to feel the fear and act.

I'm feeling overwhelmed I hear, I'm feeling flat, I'm feeling hollow and scared, my inner child needs a hug

Because I feel the fear of the fearful bug.

As a child 

I raised a strong fist, 

My iron willpower said "no!"

Fear will not devour me, it will not chain me down,

I will give myself compassion,

I will give myself love,

I will find ways to overcome it from the earth and up above!

I'm a person, I feel emotion, but I have help from my devotion, 

My faith is truth and this I hang onto when weary and broken down,

If I feel scared and wear a frown,

If I feel the fear and fear to drown.

But, the truths hand lifts me out of deep water,

The truth as was uttered from the lips of my baby daughter,

I will not forget the past,

It will be with me forever,

But, I pursue life and go forward and will not back down to fear and the spell it cast, it's hold will let go, it will not last.

To be fearless is a lack of emotion, but to "fear not" is beautiful,

To continue regardless of feeling fear is courage and is resilience,

There's is always someone with you, that other person or greater brilliance!

Is it a prison or is it a gift?

Let me reiterate,

Is your life a heavy weight or do you see beauty in small simple things?

In the immeasurable? In the wonder of a child? In the miniscule heartbeat that is the beginning of life?

What is there to fear?

What is there to fear if you have courage?

Be still. 

Be still and calm, and do not be anxious.

Out of the womb

Out of the womb I cry,

In the sight of the world,

Out of the darkness within,

For the first time I see the light.

From the faetal position to an outstretched embrace,

From the warmth within and God's Holy Grace, 

To a humble start and face to face,

With my mother, with the world,

From here my life did unfold.

Out of darkness and into the light,

Where no darkness exists, but only sight,

Whence I couldn't see, my eyes were closed,

Now I have sight and I have arose,

Born in innocence and humility

in a violent world,

My life has just begun and yet to he told,

Freedom I cry, freedom, freedom!

Without goodness there is no freedom,

There is no life without the good,

Embrace faith in all good things,

Rise to your feet and stand strong,

Fore true goodness is never wrong!

Follow this light your entire life cradle to grave,

Then and only then will you see a miraculous new light,

A new birth into a good world,

An untouchable haven where the Shepherd and Sheep will lie down undisturbed,

Peaceful and powerful love unending,

Where revenge, hurt and money do not exist,

A new life to unfold, a new birth to be told,

Out of the darkness and into the light,

Shine bright now children, 

Life has only just begun, see with new eyes and new sight,

Remember beauty,

Remember truth,

Life has only just begun,

Sing beautiful songs and 

Life will be forever w

on!

( Inspired by my art and my faith)

The Skilled Sailor

Many men sail in smooth seas,

Many men swim and sink,

Many men achieve nothing through ease and gain little from a calm tide.

The skillful man sails in the roughest waters,

He sails through waves of trauma bubbling upto the surface,

He sails through and passed breakdown and depression,

He sails through failure, up and down to calmer seas and to eventual Victory of Light in his eyes and mind!

The resilience of the Sailor means he sees the bigger picture,

The entire beauty of the oil on canvas,

He cultivates like a gardener and celebrates growth and learns with appreciation,

He accepts the critics and puts the power of effort before his talent,

10,000 hours practice to be proficient?

He puts in double, triple, more and more!

Training the muscles of his body and brain, 

cultivating his grit, determination and steel, 

His mentality is growth,

His mindset is strong,

His attitude is clear,

He redefines Genius fore his experience is a Hurricane that came and went!

He survived,

He learnt so much,

He can only succeed,

When he's low, when he panics, when he's confused, when he's stifled, 

He gets through those deep waters time and after time,

Because he knows he can!

He's not alone,

He knows his weaknesses are shared,

He's blood and bone, he's not made of stone,

When he hears "I Am With You" 

He rejoices,

The seas calm,

The sun rises,

It was worth the struggle, worth the pain,

Worth the effort,

There is everything to gain...

The Hand of Love Saves you from drowning every single time!

The Living Rose (An Easter Poem)

I'm a thirsty fiery Rose,

Who needs to be watered to survive,

The beauty is there,

I just need love and I just need care,

Delving deep into my soul,

Delving deep into a black hole,

That's where I used to be,

But I was never blind, I could always see,

My soul was always old and bright,

The hole is always filled with warmth and Light.

I thank the trauma of my childhood,

I thank the bullies and cheaters, and liers,

I thank the psychopaths and Narcissists, the backstabbers, the fakes and frauds,

The ignorant and arrogant,

The loose ties and cut cords, The ego centric ex cons, who see themselves as the light of the world, but who can't stand themselves or admit who they really are, I've seen it all, I've come very far.

I'm grateful for the hateful, but also for the blessings of friends and loved ones,

For the genuine and respected,

The honest and the modest,

For those who stumble, but are humble,

The fiery Rose is one of those,

As he was chosen and he chose,

He chose to forgive and rise, and he arose, he arose!

Trust is key, but so is truth and reality,

if you think you are pure, you're wrong, 

If you think you're a genius, you're deluded,

If you think you're the devil incarnate, you're far from the Truth,

If you believe you're a Saint, that's for others to judge, so don't go there,

Life is unfortunate and unfair,

But is also kind and mild,

Life like time can stop and stare,

It can be wicked and it can be wild.

The contradiction that is truth,

That the boastful are the weak and the humble are the untouchable,

That gratitude is never truly felt until regret brings more Roses to the grave,

Tears speak the truth as true

sorrow is heartfelt,

Prepare for true life,

The life beyond,

The life that sings joy and fulfillment,

The life of the living Rose,

Fore He arose, He arose, He arose! 

The Core

My core beliefs have now changed!

I'm ever ready and rearranged,

I'm lightening bolt charged durable with ability,

I'm no set menu,

My emotions have agility!

My worth is King,

I'm not good I'm great,

I don't like myself?

That's me back in the day,

I love who I am,

Because I can see it and say,

I'm the man,

Who made me,

Who made me see!

With God as my Fortress and Shield,

I will only build,

Build my soul from my core to my character,

I think back to before the mental crack,

Before immobilisation set in,

Before rigidity was the thing,

Untainted and untarnished,

Now I'm chiseled and varnished!

I step back and don't react,

I'm contained, measured, aware and I care,

I understand how people are, 

That boy with the talent has been realised,

And I can and will go far!

I'm not hear to people please,

Disagreement is fine,

My truth is my truth,

I'm like a fine red wine,

Mature and able to cope,

I'm not climbing the rope,

I'm Captain of the ship,

I'm at the top and see full scope!

This is a reminder to me and you,

That core beliefs don't have to stick like glue,

Don't have to govern who we are,

Be your own therapy,

Let your mentality be the remedy,

That comfort blanket can be obliterated,

And the past terminated,

It's over,

Start afresh now!